Honesty is the best policy right? Well here is me being honest…
This trip to Managua, Nicaragua is mas dificil para mi (very hard for me).
When I first came to this lovely place, there was a specific calling. God showed me the social injustice of sex trafficking. He opened my eyes to reality and boy was there a lot of emotions. I knew what must be done and was thankful to see Gods hand in all of it.
But now…
I FEEL NOTHING.
I am very impartial unbiased and dare I say have a lack of opinion.(for anyone who has met me they know this is pretty odd to say the least)
It is similar to me smoking some pot.
When I first came I was all high on emotions. All the devastation and destruction was a huge kick in the pants. But the pot has now worn off.
I now have adjusted to reality.
When we pass all of these shacks with dust floors I no longer have feelings of sadness, but no feelings at all. I now see a shack so what the next street holds more just like every other city.
This is reality…it is Nicaragua.
The good news: I have compassion for these people. I see a pain that is emotional rather than all physical.
The pot has gone and I now am left with my adjustment to reality and boy is it a scary place to be.
I see people now. They have pain just like every one else but in different ways and this in its self is a whole new playing field.
Every day
yeah, i think it’s human. The numbness, the adjustment. The beautiful thing is when compassion doesn’t wear off, when hope isn’t lost. May we see our surroundings with the eyes of Christ…. this is what it is now, but there is so much more to come! Sometimes we feel the numbness so our hearts won’t grow cold.